Friday, March 2, 2012

Peter Kay and the High Tea Hee-Haw...


As rare as a Ming vase, the High Tea Hee-Haw, when found, will invariably be in the middle of the tea bushes, quietly content testing the drinkability of his recent creations. A creature with only one goal in life - to create the perfect accompaniment to tea, this gentle giant heats water in his chamber sized body which is then mixed with tea leaves according to taste. No one really knows how the Hee-Haw creates its biscuits but they are regarded as one of the greatest delicacies in the region. Tea pickers used to sit near to this shy beast to benefit from its warmth during inclement periods until an incident involving scalding water and a chocolate digestive in 1799 put the Hee-Haw out of favour!

Now it keeps itself to itself but is easily spotted out in the open with its giveaway pink picnic blanket and oversized cups and saucers which accompany it everywhere! Charles used this to his advantage as he tracked the creature through the hills for two weeks in the summer of 1845. Eventually he managed to sneak up on the Hee-Haw using a large bourbon cream as camouflage. Narrowly avoiding a dunking himself, Charles not only got this incredible painting but also returned with arms full of biscuits to wondrous applause from Victorian society as the pleasures of sugared dunkable treats were received with open arms. The traditional high tea was born.

Following the expedition to China and in celebration of the High Tea Hee-Haw, several companies including Carrs, Huntley and Palmer and Crawfords were formed in 1850, to produce the new biscuits based on the samples Charles returned with, although no one could fathom out the 'nice' biscuit which was anything but, as it systematically collapses when dunked in tea. For such a creature that pursued ultimate dunkability the inclusion of the word 'nice' on such a sponge of a biscuit unfortunately remains a mystery!

I think Peter Kay did similar research before making his recent speech on the dunkability of certain biscuits - click this link to find out why... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSWzBnt0dlc

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